There is work to be done! There's a war to be won!

Friday, 29 October 2010

Buzz words

You're sitting in a meeting room, its a Monday morning and you're still wondering where the w/end went, dreamily thinking of what you'll be doing when you grow up, when into the room walks a grown up. He must know 'stuff' you think, and 'stuff' is what we need to know. We need to know it now and we need to know all of it backwards and in at least 7 languages - particularly the languages we cannot speak.

You cant help but shuffle a little in your seat at the sight of overly gelled neat hair, perfectly formed tie; you feel the need to adjust your shirt a little, tucking it in, trying to be cool while giving your shoes the quick once over. Somewhere, sometime in the past, you were told it was all about first impressions, and who are you to argue and go against the grain; you have a well paid job, and you certainly don't want to jeopardize it or get a reputation for someone who rocks the boat, do you? I mean, what kind of fool would want to do that when your entire future is at stake? Life is serious. Time is money.

Salesman starts talking at length about his company while balancing a pen on the tip of his finger. They're simply better than any competitor - after all, everyone is selling what everybody else is selling, and its getting difficult to differentiate between anything or anyone. You're thinking that he's making some good points. A few people in the room are acknowledging this.  How is he managing to balance that pen? A minute later you realize you have no idea what he's talking about. You look anxiously around the meeting room; your manager surveys the scene, is he thinking the same thing? He's a 'manager' right? Therefore he must know 'things'. You're not sure. He's not sure either you reckon. You look at salesman again and try a little harder to make sense of it all. No luck and questions are now being fielded. You all look around at one another with a comforting, reassuring smile. Is this confirmation that you have little idea what time it was when your head first exploded? You've been smelling the same smell for years without truly realizing it.

Risk averse, thinking outside the box, tick the box, quality driven, strategic planing, .. what the hell is all this actually about, and where can I find a dictionary to hit this guy with? Best practice, core business, transparency, out of scope. Know-one knows and know one cares; salesman is here because he knows someone or has learnt something from someone somewhere, and we've been 'touching base' ever since, and he will continue to make us see the 'big picture' of 'solutions' to 'problems' we never knew we had, and find it difficult to spell and pronounciate. As far as we're concerned, the problem is learning how to speak.

We're all exhausted. Stop. Simplify. Start again please.

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